GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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