I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Randomize
