Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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