Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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