Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
