Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
thus making me awesome and them whores
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
