please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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