tell your sister to shave her snatch
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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