mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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