hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I accidentally burped into my bong.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I think I sprained my soul last night
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
