I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
