WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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