Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
