How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
