just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I FOUND THE LEGS
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I love you. Go after that dick
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
