Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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