Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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