Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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