Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize