u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Barsexuality is the new black.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
