he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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