Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
