it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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