We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
