i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize