Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
