Tell her she can't have a vagina
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
