Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
