I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
