I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
