I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
