her vagine was all disorganized.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize