yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
