Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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