im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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