i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize