Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
