Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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