I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
