New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
