Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We don't watch enough power rangers
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
