He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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