well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
