My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize