roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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