I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
