you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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