Pregnant stripper...not hot.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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