dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize