yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
