It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
