its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
