sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
