Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I could have mohawked her pubes.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
