...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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