We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
