please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
