I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
