I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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