That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
